You Know You’re an MSG Spouse When…

Since today marks our 6 month anniversary at post (what?!) I thought I’d have a little fun. You know you’re the spouse of a Marine Security Guard Det Commander when…

  • You are bilingual in English and acronym (both Marine Corps and State Department dialects). CMR, CLO, OMS, RSO, EPAP, SAI, PFT, and a million others actually mean something to you.
  • You are taking lessons to actually be bilingual so you can survive daily life.
  • You answer to Gunny’s Wife (even though your spouse is a SSgt), Mrs. [husband’s last name] (even though you never changed yours), and Mom (to a pack of Marines only a few years your junior).
  • You sure don’t mind seeing your spouse in a DOS attire instead of cammies.
  • You’ve gone native when it comes to driving, because ain’t nobody got time for red lights or stop signs.
  • You have an entire room in your house that is full of nothing but empty shipping boxes. (And the Marines make fun of you for getting so much mail.)
  • You finally value all those math classes from back in the day as you convert currency, temperature, speed, and time zones on an hourly basis.
  • You always thought base housing wasn’t so bad until you walked into the palace that is the Det Commander residence.
  • You spend a lot of time searching AirBnB for amazing places to say… and you actually get to go stay in them!
  • You no longer even notice when the power goes out and you barely hear the generator running outside.
  • You wonder why the housing pool furniture looks so much better in everyone elses’ homes. (Is it the throw pillows?!)
  • You hoard basic food items because you’re not sure if you’ll be able to find it again. (You can also make a lot more dishes from scratch now as a result.)
  • You haven’t had tap water in years.IMG_0626
  • You were more excited to drive for the first time at post than for the very first time ever at age 16.
  • You hear stories about all the parties people had in your house with the last guy who lived in it.
  • You have acquired countless new life skills, from backing into a comically tiny parking space to haggling for goods (even if you’re only saving $1, it’s principle.)
  • You cover every surface in your house, use coasters religiously, and clean incessantly, but still fear that GSO is going to make you pay to replace something.
  • You’ve eliminated entire foods from your diet because you don’t feel like bleaching/washing them every single time.
  • Your wallet is overflowing with multiple currencies, at least one of which is only issued in tiny denominations.
  • You dread being asked “what you do all day” while your spouse is at work.
  • Your eggs have poop on them… and you couldn’t care less.IMG_0625
  • You’ve called your credit card company at least half a dozen times to explain that you actually live overseas, but they still turn your card off periodically “for your protection.”
  • You cringe every time your spouse gets a text or call in the middle of the night.
  • You celebrate when the restaurant menu has pictures.
  • You hold your tongue every time you listen to DOS folks complain about the horrors of bidding.
  • You celebrate when a fellow spouse finally gets their security clearance because it’s about. damn. time.
  • You’ve started planting the seed that maybe, just maybe, your spouse should consider joining the Foreign Service or DS after he/she retires.
  • You constantly think about where you’ll end up for your next post, even when it’s a year or more away.
  • You love to complain about it, but you’d still MSG over and over if you could.

MSG and DOS spouses, what am I missing on this list?

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4 thoughts on “You Know You’re an MSG Spouse When…

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